Pink Elephants

We all live with pink elephants from time to time....we try to avoid them....but they are already there....that one thing that everyone knows but no one will say.

I don't live with a pink elephant. I live with a bright yellow gorilla riding sidecar to the pink elephant. I named him Frank. He has been around long enough at this point for us to be on a first name basis.

I have always had problems where my filter is concerned. Whatever comes to mind, comes out my mouth. But I have managed to filter a few things...that's how I met Frank.

I know that some things are best unsaid....no, those jeans don't make your butt look big....yes Mrs. Johnson, that lovely lavender shade of hair really brings out your eyes....etc. However, other things just make us see....well...Frank.

So, here it is universe (ok....maybe not so much the universe as the five people who read my blog).....here is what is going unsaid in my world.....

......

......

......

Ok...maybe next week.....no, I'm not chicken.....it's just that Frank kinda grows on you.....he can very sweet once you get to know him....

Mooooovin' on Up....to the East Side.....

Yesssssssss......I am moooovin'!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, so I HATE moving, but you just don't understand.....well maybe you do.....have you read Nightmare on Pleasant Valley Drive? My apartment complex is SUPER scary! Every time I have to park farther than right in front of my apartment when I come home late at night, I call my closest guy friend (I meant in proximity, but the other meaning is true as well) Logan to talk to me on the walk to my door.

What can he do if something happens and he is on the phone and not there is person......

Well, I don't know..... I guess maybe hang up and call the cops....

Well, yeah I guess a girl COULD do that just as easily....

Geez....so evidently I am a little sexist....so sue me!

Anyway....the dust has cleared and the survivors are burying their dead....(wow....that was morbid even for me....) but an agreement has been reached with my apartment complex and I get to leave without owing them my first born child.

However, that means:

1) I actually have to move....which I ABHOR!
and.....
2) I have to find a place!

I was super excited about getting to live alone after my last roommate debacle (not you Lindsay...you are awesome), but now that the scars have healed some, I am fine with the idea of a roommate. Plus, I have learned that living alone does not actually mean that I am ever alone.....

Sooooooo....wish me luck as I weed through the lovable freaks and scary oddballs that inhabit my fair city to hopefully find someone to share a space with......

Mellow Yellow

Today has made me mad from the get go.....but I refuse to even get into it....all I have been doing lately is feeling sorry for myself....even I am getting tired of it....so I am sure you guys are full to here (you can't see me right now but I put my hand up to the top of my head).

Maybe it didn't help that yesterday began and ended on such a high note.

I started my new job yesterday. It is just a typical job, doing typical stuff, but I do NOT have to work nights and weekends anymore, I do NOT get cussed out every other call, and I work in a yellow room.

I know that may not seem like much to you, but to me, it is awesome. Most offices are a lovely Institutional White, Brain numbing Beige, or (my personal favorite) Sky Blue (you were expecting another made-up paint name weren't you....well, I gotta keep you on your toes). Guys, painting the walls Sky Blue does not make me think I am outside....it just makes me wish I were outside all the more.

My new office is BRIGHT yellow, and we don't sit in cubes. We sit facing OPEN windows that lead out into a yard that little girls play in at various times of the day! It's like a room full of happiness! (Ok, so there is one little, tiny, minuscule downside.....these little girls have a pet...skunk....so sometimes the whole open window thing is a little disturbing....but I am trying to focus on the positive here! Geez.... you are so negative.)

Anyway, so I went to work for a while in my lovely yellow room, then my friend Logan called....
he had a craving for homemade burgers and fries. So he called to invite me to eat them with him.

Woo Hoo!

I do love a good burger (I know it is NOT conducive to the whole Christy Brinkley physique I am working towards....but hey it was HOMEMADE burgers and fries....give a girl a break!). But, right after I get the invite for dinner, I get a call back telling me he forgot the gas hadn't been tuned on in their house yet (they just moved into a new house this weekend). So guess what.....he still wants burgers....but can he cook them at my house?

Are you kidding me.....you want to cook me dinner and I don't even have to go anywhere? Oh heck yeah!

While he was cooking dinner, I was registering for the Spring semester.....I am signed up for 8 hours of grueling classes (Organic Chemistry, Biology II and BIO Lab), my last 3 hours of general studies (woo hoo!) (History), and those of you that can add realize that is only 11 hours. I need at least 12 hours to be considered full-time. So....what can I take to get that last hour of credit and not add another HARD class....like calculus or physics......

So I started playing around with the course catalog, seeing what I could find....first I weeded out Basket Weaving....lost art, maybe....something I am willing to pay almost $1000 a class to learn....not even close. That reasoning was also the downfall of Beginners Yiddish, Philosophy and Star Trek, and Daytime Soap Operas: Family and Social Roles.

But then, what do my wondering eyes behold......Swimming: A Water Workout! One hour a week and I get to swim! That puts me at 12 hours! Oh be still my beating heart! But wait....what is this.....Intermediate Co-ed Softball! Oh man! Which do I choose?

I DON'T! I am taking them both! Next semester, three days a week I am in a pool, and the other two days I am on a softball field! HEAVEN.....I'M IN HEAVEN.....oh yeah....plus all those science classes and stuff too!

So now I am sitting in the gym deli after swimming to let off some of the steam of today.....and Tigger just walked by....and a vampire.....and a caveman.....maybe today will be better after all!

Happy Halloween!

Can you go home again?

Evidently what I need right now is some comfort! I have been stretched to the max emotionally lately and these are the things that usually help.....so I am about to start working my way down the list below.

This is the first time since moving to Austin that I don't feel at home here. I feel transplanted and detached from the people and places that have made this home. (Mostly because my apartment feels like a hotel room since I don't feel safe there anymore.) I have great friends here....I have family close (my brother and Jenny) but I need HOME!

I know there are so many friends that I graduated high school with that only go back home when they are drug by the skin of their teeth. I don't feel that way. I LOVE my hometown. It is tiny, everyone knows everything you do and there is nothing to do there but talk to the people you know. Sound boring as hell? It can be, but mostly there is a comfort in knowing that there are all these people keeping up with you. There is comfort in knowing that everyday is the same and that you can set your watch by the smells coming off the grill at Mr. Kenner's or the time the logs are being dropped at the mill.

Sniffing the air......"Mr. Kenner put the chickens on the grill....bout to start the lunch rush....."

I love that on Thursday's at noon, I know that all the men in that town that I love, will be gathered eating fried chicken at the Lion's Den and that I am always welcome there.

I love that the ballpark is still the best place to get a burger and that we actually go into ballpark-burger-withdrawal in the winter.

I love that when I drive down the main streets in town my left hand never sets on the steering wheel because I am waving at all the cars I pass....and that if I didn't my momma would have heard about it before she left school that day.

That's it.... I have just decided.....I am going home....SOON! I need the smell of the pine trees and the sound of the mill rumbling in the distance. I need the sight of the sunlight streaming through the stain glass windows in the sanctuary on Sunday morning. I need it all! There is a spot I hit on the drive home, where the mesquite trees give way to more majestic pines and the weight of the world that rests on my shoulders gets lifted away with the tree line.

I know I am over simplifying things, but hey....it's a simple place....and for the most part, we are a simple people.

If you don't have a place like this....you are more than welcome to join me in mine. But I think we all have a place that just by being there, makes us stop and take perspective. It makes us look into ourselves and find the peace we have been lacking.

I love to travel and see different place....the sights, the smells....the exotic difference of it all....but I will always need....home.

List of Comforts:

Comfort food: A Sonic DP and my grandmother's Apple Dumplings

Comfort People: Mindy....Mom.....basically the girls....

Comfort Movies: The Princess Bride, The Wedding Date, The Count of Monte Cristo

Comfort Cuddlers: Chloe

Comfort Huggers: Dad (why does a hug from your dad make everything ok?)

Comfort Music: DON'T LAUGH....if I am mad at a boy: Alanis Morsette......... if I am sad about school or work: The Dixie Chicks (I know there is much better music out there....but we are talking comfort here.)

Comfort Clothes: summer - my Dr. Seuss boxer shorts and my "hits happen" t-shirt; winter - my blue zebra-stripe flannel pj's with matching house shoes

Comfort Place: The backyard at my parent's house....laying in the grass between the pecan trees....laying still enough to hear the rustle of the leaves in the trees and feel the caterpillar walk across your hand.....

My turn to talk!

Hi! It's me Chloe!

I wanted to say hello to all of you that read Mom's blog.

There are a couple of things I need to get off my chest!

First of all, to the people who keep breaking into my mom's car.....

STOP! I mean I don't bite or anything, but I know a mean pit bull a few blocks over that really gets off on that type of thing!

Next, I would like to say that the reason Mom isn't writing this herself is because she has a biology test tomorrow that she is studying for that makes her want to cry. Which is also why these posts are kinda few and far between these days.

Also, you all need to know....today is my birthday! Please bring Snausages and Milkbones! I really do love them....but no squeaky toys....Mom really hates those!

Lastly, when you bring the goodies for me, Mom could use a hug! She keeps referring to this weekend as Crapfest 2007 and tonight she cried. I tried to hold her, but unlike Josh, I do not have disposable thumbs..... (yes, I know it is opposable....it is a joke).....what?

Then how am typing? Jeez....Mom is right....you guys are a tough crowd!

I love you all! Woof!

Nightmare on Pleasant Valley Drive

Guys! You remember my cute new little apartment that I was ranting and raving over just one short month ago?

You know, the one that was a little more hooker than pimp? Yeah? Well, it's a little MORE a lot of things....

little more robbers than cops (although I am quite sure that there have been many a COPS episode filmed on property)

little more dope head than just dope

little more riotous than righteous

OK! OK! I'm done....but you get my point! This place is a nightmare!

I have had the windows on my car smashed to steal my stereo, something stuck in my gas tank so I need a whole new fuel pump, and very large men with screwdrivers banging on my door at night screaming for me to call the cops cuz "they're gonna jump me". (I did call the cops, but more because there was a very large man with a screwdriver at my door......they never showed up by the way.)

They have however been there four times this week. I am not sure what for, but the sound of sirens right outside my door has become the soundtrack to my life.

Soooooooooo.......basically, I think I am moving again! If I can get out of my lease that is.....evidently being scared out of my ever-lovin' mind is not a sufficient legal reason to break a lease.

Who knew?

Friends....

I have such great friends! Lately I have been having such connections with my friends.

I know that sounds weird. If they are your friends, then of course you have connections with them. But maybe you know what I mean when I say that like the moon, friendships have phases.

I have been blessed in my life to have friends that I can trust and rely on, but I must say that usually I have one GOOD friend at a time.

Lately I feel blessed to have many friends! I have met new ones that I can tell are going to be a part of my life for years to come, and I have further cemented friendships that have been there for years past. Guys, thank you for you love and support through all the drama that is my life!

por ejemplo.....

Me and Joshy: We have known things about each other before we realized them ourselves....that hasn't changed after all these years and I am so thankful for it! I love you Joshy!

Me and Jessica: She makes me laugh, A LOT. She also lives her life in a way that is inspiring to all who know her. Plus she makes everything Gouda!

Me and Mindy: Wow! Where to even start? She has been my best friend since second grade, but she still manages to amaze me with her intellect and heart. I love you and thank God for you daily. And the night of the Madrigal.....

Me and Tricia: We met at trying times, but God knew I needed her to get through them! Now we deal with minute men and less trying issues.....

Me and Allison: The funniest girl I have ever met. She has a confidence about her that leaves me in awe. That Can't Be Yogurt! (good luck with that red scurvy)





Me and Kayla: We are still getting to know each other even though we have known each other our whole lives. I am enjoying the journey. Plus she "meets" my friends well!




Me and Dylan (and Logan, but we'll get there in a minute): We hardly know each other, but I feel a level of comfort with him that is so telling of his kindness. Sorry again about the whole sick in the car thing!







Me and Logan: I never expected another "best friend" in my life, and I surely didn't expect to find it in the "frat boy" persona a saw when I first met him. (But that was my own prejudice.)His generosity of spirit and genuine interest in everyone he meets is just the tip of the iceberg with him. I love you Doobie!





Me and Jennie: She is my brother's girlfriend, but she is now my sister.....whether it ever becomes official or not. I first loved her because of the way she treated my brother, but now I love her for the woman she is.



And last but not least.....Me and Chloe: She is the smile on my face when I go home each day! She is the best dog EVER! Screw diamonds! Dogs are a girl's best friends!

Book Club!

Mindy and I saw The Jane Austen Book Club tonight (sooo good) and in true life-imitating-art fashion, we have decided to start our own little Jane Austen book club!

We all know that I have a small obsession with Austen, so she didn't exactly drag me kicking and screaming....but I do have a few other books I am reading....Cellular Biology, Molecular Chemistry and Multivariable Calculus....so we are taking this slow.....

We are doing one book a month...I know....Austen does not take NEAR that long to get through, but again....I AM A BUSY GIRL....and let's face it, so is Mindy.....

Anyway, first we are reading Emma. We figure it will ease us into this with a little light reading....

I am so excited to read and discuss Austen AGAIN :) Please feel free to join us....I will post our discussions....PLEASE JOIN!!!

Common Topics of Conversation

Guys....I am a nerd!

It is official! School is back underway and I am daily, finding ways to cement my fate as a self-made nerd.

Here are the Top 5 Reasons:

5) Last weekend we came home from ACL (Austin City Limits Music Festival)....it was AWESOME by the way....and instead of doing college-y things like play beer pong and get arrested (ok, some of us did that too), we played Trivial Pursuit and went to bed.

4) I spend something like 9 hours a day either in class or studying. So much so that my friends think my study buddy has kidnapped me....he hasn't by the way....what? I can't hear you.....of course I wrote what you told me....yes sir....what ever you say sir!

3) Today as I was swimming (still loving it by the way), I was mentally going over the cohesive and adhesive properties of water and how the hydrogen bonding was responsible for the resistance in my stroke.

2) I got into a discussion last night about how the density of a loogie determines if it is possible to spit one out of the top of a moving jeep and it not hit you on the head. Ok so this sound like the conversation of a 12-yr old boy and not a nerd....I know, but it's the fact that we were using terms like "density" and "vectors" and "wind resistance".

and the best one.....

1) I TiVO Jeopardy! Every night as a study break, do I bust the Wii out and go to town, hell no....I have a standing date with Alex Trebek....that dapper, discerning, sexagenarian.....

Happy Birthday to Me!

I know that I have been missing lately! Sorry!

Here's a quick run down on my excuses....

1) I moved. (Really I could stop here, because wow, what a pain in the.....ok mom....in the tush.)

2) School started again. Classes include Chem lab....Chem 2.....Multi-variable Calculus.....and Biology......wait...I need a minute to cry now......

and

3) Last week was my 25th birthday!!!

What?

"That's only one day" you say?

Not the way I do it!!!! The weekend of the 24th, mom came up to help me move (which was really more, she bought me stuff for the apartment and Jared, Kayla, Pam and Jenny helped me move, but still.....) and we all went to dinner at The Cheesecake Factory for my birthday.

Then on the 30th (my actual birthday) I had a group of friends and family get together to celebrate with dinner at P.F. Chang's and drinks afterward.

My new tote from Jared and Jenny!



Me and my buddy Logan.



Saki bombs.....hmmmm....



Splash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



We were having fun!



Jared and Jenny....how cute are they?




Make a wish.....


Fun girls! My old roomie Lindsay in red and her new roomie Julie in black and white....

And this weekend, I have a group of friends getting together to go to the lake for a few days.....BIRTHDAY'S ROCK!!!

ANYWAY....I am finally getting settled in a routine so I promise, that Chloe and I will be sharing our daily trials again VERY soon.....

P.S. One of my birthday presents was an awesome new digital camera....so now my eloquent (cough cough) words will visual aids!

Clue! ummmm...in the gym with the pool buoy!

Top 10 Clues I am becoming a gym rat:



10) We have no carpet and pets...so our house needs dusting....A LOT. But, usually NOT the showers.....however, when you use the one at the gym everyday...well, ewwwww.

9) I bought extra sets of cheap hair products and make-up to keep at the gym....but the cheap ones all ended up at home and there is about 100 dollars worth of hair gel in my gym locker.

8) I got invited to the Back To School Party at the house of the guy that swipes the membership cards at the door. His name is Tim.

7) The girl with the locker under me left a note on my locker telling me she likes my perfume. It's a good thing because it usually smells like it in there.....(is that too weird?)

6) My personal trainer gave me a birthday card.

5) I have owned my new purple speedo for not even two months, but it is already too big!

4) Everything I own smells faintly of chlorine.....I mean everything...even Chloe a little...hmmmm......

3) I used to recognize people on campus from classes I have taken. It was "Hey, there's the girl from Gov that always wears those orange Crocs." or "Oooooh, there's hot guy from calculus." (Ok, that one is made up....there are NO hot guys in calculus.) You get the point. Now it's "Hey, it's the guy who swims in the fast lane, but is sooooo not fast lane worthy." and "Oooooh, there's the girl who thinks that the second treadmill from the end is her own personal treadmill and Lord help you if you are on it when she gets there."

2) I caught myself mentally re-arranging my class schedule in respect to proximity to the gym.

and finally........

1) School has been out for two weeks and I STILL have been on campus everyday....and that's just sad!

Who knew?

I learned some things about myself this week from the weirdest places.

1) Although my favorite color is red, I am inexplicably drawn to pink. I thought I was NOT a girl who loved pink. It's such a girly color. However, I went through my clothes this week to get rid of some stuff for Goodwill. (The more I purge, the less I have to move.)

My room is usually a mess. I am really weird in that I am kinda anal in a weird way. Once I start a project, it has to be PERFECT. So, I usually avoid organizing. If I get started, it can't be a quick clean....oh no....it is a four hour job!

However, I thought "I'm moving, so I need to get my clothes and closet in order." BAD IDEA. I have three garbage bags of clothes for Goodwill, and still my closet is packed....and arranged by seasons.....and color coordinated.....with matching hangers....separated by coordinated accessories. AGGGGGGGGHHHHHH.....but it is soooo pretty now.

When I was done, I stepped back to view my handy work. And then it hit me....PINK!!!

Who knew?

2) I am scared of heights. I have known this for a while. Again....this is not your normal I'm-high-off-the-ground-so-I-am-scared fear. Oh no, that would be far too normal for me. If I am strapped into something I am fine. I LOVE roller coasters, airplanes, ski lifts....you get the picture. However, driving on a ledge, hiking on a ledge....pretty much anything where the only thing keeping from falling is well....me.....SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!!!!! Guys, I'm clumsy....we all know this....if I am what is keeping me from falling....well....the odds are NOT in my favor.

Anyway, this week I learned this fear also extends to deep water. Since the school is closed for the next two weeks between semesters, the outdoor lap pool that I have been using doesn't open until 9 am. I was forced to use the Natatorium (indoor lap pool). Guys....it's like 10 feet!

No need to get into the embarrassing antics that ensued, but just be sure, I won't be in there again...until tomorrow.....Helen is really into torture!

Who knew?

3) I had five of these but apparently my attention span is shorter than I thought...

Who knew?

I'm siiiiiiingin' in the Rain!

My friend Rico Suave (name changed for security sake....his...not mine) took me out last night.

We were going to go to a show, but when we got to the club at the designated time, there were like five whole people there.....so we left.

We ended up at Rain. (In case you are not from the area....rain is short for rainbow....)

I have been to Rain a few times before with some of my friends and I have always had a good time, but this time, it was KARAOKE NIGHT!!!!!

Those of you that know me, know that karaoke is one of my favorite things on the planet. I mean, I think the act of singing your heart out in front of your friends and perfect strangers is one of the most fun things...well....ever! But I had no idea what I had walked into!

Straight karaoke and gay karaoke are nothing alike. Straight karaoke involves mass amounts of alcohol and terribly bad renditions of rock classics with some Patsy Cline's Crazy thrown in.

Ok, yeah, I am usually the one belting out Crazy but come on....it's freakin' Patsy Cline!

Anyway, gay karaoke has to be seen to be believed. These guys, are GOOD! It is a whole night of the divas being sung by guys with higher and better voices than most of the divas themselves.

Of course I had a wild hair and had to sing me some Dixie Chicks....Goodbye Earl to be exact....

I had a freaking blast! And as Rico would say....the queens....they love me!

Bye Bye Birdie!

Guys....my cool reserve and abundance of grace knows no bounds.....

"Why?" you ask.

Well, I'll tell you......because it takes a whole new level of talent and dexterity to take a SUV, speed it up to 70 mph.....and ram it into a bird.

You heard me....a bird...I swear it was the freakiest thing. I am driving along talking to Chloe (yes that is my dog...shut up) and all of a sudden this gigantic bird...I think it was an albatross....swoops down and flies right into the grill of my car!

I was stunned....

The weirdest stuff happens to me. Anyway, so I was upset that I had killed a bird....and there was no doubt it was dead. The impact shook my whole car.

But, by the time I actually got home I was over it and had moved on mentally. I mean hey, mourning is OK for a while, but there comes a time to pick up and move on with your life.

So I did. I took Chloe inside for a while and then came back out to head to work. When I came back outside I walked to my car and froze. It was one of those I-know-something-is-wrong-but-I-don't-know-what moments.

Then, unfortunately, I figured it out. Sticking out the grill of my car like a hood ornament, was the head of the kamikaze bird! Now, the body was there too, but it was just jammed into my car, so it wasn't visible....

I just stood there and stared! Holy crap! How the heck am I supposed to get that out of my car? Without touching it?

And then it hit.....I'm not! My little brother Jared is! He was coming into town that afternoon to help me move my new couch (p.s. it's awesome), so he could do it then! I was very relieved and went to work.

Unfortunately, when I got off of work that Sunday evening, it was raining (not the best couch moving weather). So we put it off.....

Here's something you may not know about birds. When they die, they rot. When they rot, they stink. If you get one stuck in the grill of your car in August, MAKE SURE YOU PUT YOUR AIR CONDITIONING ON RECIRCULATE!!!!! Especially if your selfish brother refuses to drive up from San Marcos for the sole purpose of removing said bird.

So.....on Tuesday, (yeah that is three days later) I had to beg and plead and promise all sorts of things I won't repeat to get my most AWESOME guy friend ever, Sam, to remove the bird! It stunk and was gross and WAY out of the range of things I am willing to do.

When I got into my bird-free car that night, I was struck by a realization.

Guys are like gas stations....on every corner when you don't need one, but no where to be found when you do!

And they call him the streak.....Don't look Ethel!

I have spent most of my life in transit from one locker room to another. So, subsequently, I am not modest.

Trying to hide your "wobbly bits" and change is just a futile attempt most of the time anyway. Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those weird girls that just strip down and walk around the locker room like it was their bedroom, but it takes a lot to make me blush. I am more modest than I used to be since I now have more that wobbles, but even still....

I took an aerobics class last semester (that I had to drop since I sprained my ankle and was on crutches and a walking boot for most of the semester.....I'm so cool it hurts!) and was assigned a locker in the stadium.

Only about every third shower worked, and only about every other one of those actually had a shower curtain, so you usually waited in line if you wanted one. I did.

This summer I got a locker in Gregory Gym to use after I swim. http://www.utrecsports.org/facilities/virtualtours/list-x.php

It is nice! When tour guides are showing potential students and tuition paying parents around campus, they ALWAYS stop at Gregory. (If you have met my dad, you know this was a HUGE selling point for him.)

Even the locker rooms are great. They are very well equip. I personally have a little crush on the machine that wrings all the water out of your bathing suit so you can put it in your locker.....but that is a whole other blog....

So.....you can imagine my surprise this morning when I walked in the locker room at 8:30 after having been in the pool for an hour, to see that something was missing. I couldn't put my finger on it at first. So I shrugged it off and went to get my shower stuff from my locker.

I gathered my stuff, walked to the showers and put my stuff down in one of the stalls.

That's when it hit me......NO SHOWER CURTAINS......NONE!

I don't know what happened....maybe they were being washed, or they got new ones....or what? But I do know that they were not hanging on the rods!

I stood there like a deer in the headlights for a good two to three minutes. I had no idea what to do.....do I get in and let any number of girls see my wobblies....or do I reek of chlorine for the rest of the day....it was hands down the HARDEST DECISION OF MY LIFE!!!!!

I'm talking, it was up there with:

1) What should be my life's work? (still working on that one)
2) Should I marry this man? (oops)
3) Should I tell her she has a booger hanging out her nose? (always!)

In the end.....I just went for it.....I found a stall down at the end so that not everyone that walked through would have to see me.

I stripped down and took the fastest shower of my life! I still didn't get out without someone choosing the stall right across from me...who does that?

I wrapped up in my towel and started to walk out of the shower area. I get about half way down when I see one of the girls that was in the pool with me earlier drape her towel over the rod to use as a curtain.

Easy for the swimmers! I think. They have those big beach towels that would work perfectly for a.......well crap!

To the girl in the stall across from me....sorry.....I should have thought of the towel thing.....I mean fool me once, shame on you....fool me twice....no, shame on you again....don't pick a stall right across from someone if you can avoid it.....it's just rude!

The one with the grown-up

Ever get tired of being an adult? I do!

I went shopping with my friend Kayla yesterday. I found a purse I fell in love with along with some great perfume. I didn't get either. I had the money, but I couldn't do it.

When the hell did that happen? When did I stop wanting to spend my "allowance" the second I it hit my pocket?

Oh yeah....right about the time I stopped having to clean my room for the money and started having to "work" for it.

There are some perks to being an adult...I just bought my first couch! It is CUTE.....and purple :)

And in honor of such an adult-like activity....I am going to do my favorite child-like activity....take an afternoon nap!

Sleep tight!

I'm H2O intolerant.

Yesterday I learned how to swim! (Well, kinda, it's a process.)

I met Helen (my personal trainer) at the lane pool on campus. Her first question to me is,"You know how to swim right?"

"Well, I know how to not drown."

"You never learned how to swim?"

"I grew up in the country. I learned how to swim when my dad threw me off the boat. I mean the only time I really had to swim was when I fell off the skis."

"No way."

"Yeah. I had a sister once, but she was a slow learner."

"What!?!"

"Ok, the last part was a joke. But the rest of it is true."

"We had to take swimming in school."

"Yeah well our idea of water sports involved a bass boat and a cooler."

"Are you telling me you can't swim to the other end of the pool and back?"

"Gosh no! I can absolutely do that....it just ain't gonna be pretty!"

So she spent the next hour really breaking down the mechanics of the freestyle and the breaststroke. And guys....I LOVE it!

I went again this morning. I just crave it. My only fear is that I will end up with huge shoulders and no breasts...but that is just a sacrifice I may have to make.

That and the reoccurring sight of me in a purple Speedo.... shudder.

Too close for missles, I'm switching to guns.

I honestly have the coolest family in the world! (For those of you that get sick of me ranting and raving about my parents just better stop reading now!)

My mom's side of the family has a family reunion every year. We used to get together at Thanksgiving but we have moved it to the summer when kids are out of school and it is easier to travel.

The last couple of years we have moved around from rafting the white waters in the mountains of Colorado to playing on the beach in California.....

The point is we like to have a good time....and we play HARD!

This year my parents and my mom's brother and sister brought it back to Texas! We spent the weekend at Canyon Lake, TX on the water.....good times!

My dad brought his boat, which seats about 15 people comfortably and our jet ski and we all skied and tubed until we just couldn't stand it.

We shopped and floated the river and got caught up on everything we missed in the past year.

I would just like to give a standing ovation to my mom and dad! My mom and Aunt Kathy and Aunt Jo (Hi Uncle Jo!) planned this whole fiasco. Those wonderful ladies cooked GREAT meals for fifty-five people every night we were there!

My dad hauled his boat, the jet ski, his smoker, his grill, two fish frier's, two huge pots for the shrimp boil and all the propane and paraphernalia associated with all of that from his house to the lake. The trip usually takes about five hours. It took them nine.

Once they were here, my dad spent all his time driving the boat to teach kids to ski and tube and whatever else they wanted. My brother was a HUGE help as well. He really is so knowledgeable when it comes to all that stuff.

Jared's girlfriend....I mean Roxy's mom....I mean Jenny was there this year and got to meet everyone. She is just the sweetest most helpful girl on the planet. JARED WAYNE....YOU HAD BETTER KEEP HER!!!!

I know I got credit for a lot this year, because I wrote the letters and bulletins through out the year to keep everyone informed. BUT I DON'T DESERVE IT!!!! This was a group effort....as any good family gathering usually is.

We had families come from all over California, Colorado, Kansas, Louisiana and of course, Texas. I love this group and I can't wait until next year!

San Diego....HERE WE COME!!!!!

That web ain't Charlotte's!

These used to be my cowgirl boots....now they are my big-ass-spider-killers.

We just had the biggest spider I have ever seen outside of a cage waltz right into our house when Lindsay opened the front door.

Dang thing thought he owned the place! Of course, if he hadn't been blocking our escape route we would have been more than happy to leave it to him!

Lindsay screamed at me from the living room to come help her and I ran into the living room.

She was standing on the arm of one of my living room chairs pointing to a spider the size of a a golf ball....we initially said two golf balls, but I think that might have been an exaggeration....maybe.

Lindsay screamed for me to kill it...but I DO NOT DO SPIDERS. I can kinda handle snakes, and most bugs but NOT spiders.

I ran back to my room and put on my boots...cuz well...they're big and thick the spider would have to run up my leg to get to any good biting real estate.

After a intense game of paper-rock-scissors, I "won" the job of killing the spider. So, in a very impressive feat of strength I moved the couch that the spider was now hiding under (I honestly don't know how it fit), ran over and jumped with all my might on the little bugger. (Fred, that pun's for you!)

Ok, there was a bit of screaming.....ok, a lot of screaming.....but that spider is now a golf ball sized gooey blob out on our front porch!

And I can probably never wear those boots again.....

EDIT NOTE:

You know how in horror movies, the killer bug/alien/zombie/half-man half-chainsaw is NEVER dead the first time you shoot/stab/impale/burn it? Well with that in mind....the gooey blob was NOT on my porch when I left for the gym this morning....

wait for it....wait for it...NOW!

Hi guys!

My incredible family will be in town until Monday, so I will be incommunicado until then :)

I am sure that I will come back armed with TONS of new material....so adios!

Hasta Lunes!

We are Family

The faces have changed.

The eyes that once sparkled with innocence and sat atop cheeks red with enthusiasm, now shine with wisdom and intelligence above cheeks lined with paths of experience.

The ones we went to for advise or the yearly Thanksgiving dollar are now gone. Their roles have been replaced by a new generation.

The ones that toddled along hand-in-hand, now have toddlers of their own.

The red dirt streets of Roby that once echoed with the screams of laughter every November, now are only disturbed by the passing tumbleweed. They have been replaced by mountains and beaches. The laughter is the same. The touch football games that helped the turkey settle, have now been replaced by the after-dinner phone calls; the Novembers with July's.

The ones we came from, the teachers, the soldiers, the engineers, the mothers, the fathers.....they are memories. But we don't remember the teacher, we remember the hugs. We don't remember the soldier, we remember the laughs. We don't remember the engineer, the remember the heart. We do remember the mothers and fathers.

This weekend is another Hambright family reunion. We will miss the ones that can't be with us. We will laugh with the ones that can. We will love them all.

Help me help you!

I have gotten FAT!

Any of you that have seen me in the last few years are already well aware....

I have also gotten fed up with complaining about it so this summer I have really gotten busy doing something about it. I started eating better and working out more....

What?

Ok yeah I could have taken the "more" out and left that sentence just "I started eating better and working out" and it would have still been true....geez give a girl a break!

Anyway, I have done pretty good this summer...I have lost over 20 lbs!!

(pause for all the screams of congratulations and applause)

Oh, thank you! Stop! Really! Oh, you're too kind.......don't stop!

However, my weight loss has started to plateau and I CAN'T have that....so today was my first session with my personal trainer Helen...aka Ass Kicker!

(You should know that it has taken me an hour and a half to type this much because even my fingers are sore.)

THIS WOMAN IS INSANE......and WAY too happy at WAY too early in the morning.

I met her at 9 am (ok...to all of you that are laughing now because you think that 9 is NOT early....I would just like to remind you that I am in college....where the average alarm clock rarely goes off before noon and bed time is somewhere between two and three a.m. ...for most that is because that is when the bars close....sadly for me that is just a coincidence.)

I will say this about getting to the gym at the crack of dawn (Mom, I left out my little saying there just for you!) it is pretty empty. So, I didn't feel like there were A LOT of people watching when she had me lay across a big ball and stick my LARGE butt up in the air to do some extremely painful exercises. However, the ones that are there look like entries in the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Christy Brinkley look-a-like contests.

Anyway, back to Helen....this chick was literally bouncing off the walls, and by the end of my hour I wanted to bounce her off the walls....and I would have....if I could have lifted my arms.

But seriously, she was great. I only wanted to maim her about half the time and lucky for her it was the second half so I couldn't have even if I really wanted to. I know that she will help me get back to the healthy girl I used to be.

SOOOOOO....I am really going to put myself out there....all mumble mumble cough cough pounds of me, and let you all hold me accountable. I submit to you all my before picture....



Oops.....wrong one.....here we go....



And hopefully there will be an after picture fairly soon to follow.....wish me luck!!!

As God as my witness...As God as my witness....

Ok guys....the search for the perfect place to live is (hopefully) coming to an end.

Yesterday I put down a deposit and turned in an application on a 1-1 (that's right...just me and Chloe) in south east Austin.

No, it isn't very pimp....quite frankly it's a little more hooker than pimp, but it will be home.

And....it is not even close to some of the EXPENSIVE hovels I was shown in the past week. I looked at a place that boasted a walk in closet. However, sitting right smack dab in the middle of that closet....the freakin hot water heater! Who designed this...seriously?

Another one did not have ANY overhead lighting, so they had rigged lighting and fans with their cords stapled down the walls. Obviously these were not controlled by switches in the walls...oh no...one would have to come home every day and walk around the house to PLUG IN THE LIGHTS. All this could be yours for the low monthly payment of 600/mo plus utilities and pet rent. (Don't even get me started on pet rent!)

But, this wasn't even the worst one....oh no...

In quite a few 1-1's you have to go through the bedroom to get to the bathroom (not mine by the way) so any guest you have is going to see your messy bedroom....ok....maybe the messy part is just me....but still...

However, in one I looked at, not only did you have to go through the bedroom, but also the closet! And I don't mean one of those cool passthroughs like in Carrie's apartment in Sex and the City.....oh no....you open the closet door....and the walk through to the back and open the other door to get to the bathroom....guy's...it's a hidden room! (and that's not a very good room to hide)

And how do you explain how to get to the bathroom? "Yea, just go into my bedroom, and open the closet door. Try not to trip over my dirty laundry. Then go to the back of the dark creepy closet to the other door that looks like something out of Silence of the Lambs and it's right through there. If you get lost, take a right at the high heels!"

What the .... come on now!

But hopefully all this horror is now at an end! Lets all pray that my application goes through and I get my wonderfully, only slightly scary, apartment!

I joined narcissist.com!

Hi Readers!!!!

I have taken my mother's advise ... as I am usually apt to do ... and I have started blogging FOR REAL.

I love this outlet! Many of you that know me, know that I LOVE to talk. I can talk much longer than most people care to stick around and listen. So, this is GREAT! I can "talk" to my heart's content on here. Of course, in my head you are all clamoring to your computers every day to see if I have left you some new pearl of wisdom (not likely) or some humorous anecdote to make you smile (much more likely).

In reality, I would love for you guys to be as receptive as you have been on the-site-who-won't-be-named (yes Mindy, there's some Potter reference for you). But since blogger.com could be renamed narcissist.com and be just as descriptive, you should know, this really isn't about you.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the feedback! PLEASE I NEED TO FEEL YOUR LOVE!!!

Ok, in all seriousness I am really excited about this so we'll see how it goes!

I am re-posting most of my other posts from that other site....and then the chaos begins!!!

Toga! Toga!

My friend Kayla just moved to Austin and I am super excited!

Our parents have been friends FOREVER...so the same is pretty much true for us.....as we got older, we saw each other less and less, but I am not worried about us getting along! We got along great....I have the pictures to prove it!

(Sorry Kayla....but you can't be mad! Your mom sent them!)

When we were around each other, there was nothing we wouldn't do....


We played together....


I am the hula girl....Kayla is the pumpkin....

We even bathed and slept together!


(I am the one on the right....)




(Mom...why am I wearing a toilet paper shirt?)

I think now we will stick to playing together :).....but we worked it then!

Ok....it is true....sometimes we didn't get along....but we were very mature for our ages, so our moms knew just what to do.....

Me with my beer.....



Kayla with hers.....dang girl....chug it!



Here's to many more good time! Glad you are here Kayla!

This IS my game face!

Today was amazing!

As many of you are well aware, I have been looking for a new place to live. In August we are moving out of our house and Chloe and I are gonna be homeless :(.

But today, the most amazing thing happened. I went to the local coffee shop and had coffee with my friends (because that's what we do). It was a typical afternoon. Joey was eating a sandwich, hitting on all the pretty women. Phoebe was singing and playing her guitar. Ross was going on and on about dinosaurs. Monica was cleaning up the crumbs from Chandler's muffin and Chandler was cracking jokes about Ross' dinosaurs.

I told my friends about looking for an apartment and Chandler made some crack about finding a place with Ugly Naked Guy across from Monica's apartment. Ross offered for me to move in with him, but ever since he hid the fact that we were still married, I have been a little wary there.

But then, Joey invited me to live with him! I am so excited (of course I will make him re-hang the shower curtain, but still....)!

What?

What do you mean that's not me? Of course it is!

Oh yeah...Rachel....huh....

Ok, so maybe I don't have her life, and I am STILL looking for a place to live, but I do have her hair!

New haircut!

Aye Dios Mios Madresita!

I adore my mother....I mean hey, I got my funny from her....(those of you wondering what funny I am talking about can just shut up now!)...I also got my premature gray hair....but I love her anyway!

The thing about my mom is that usually we have to explain to her what is so funny. One prime example is the day that she came home MAD because all her students would laugh when she told them that she had bought some new thongs the weekend before. We had to explain that while they might have been called thongs in the seventies, now we call them flip flops. Thongs are what she calls G-strings. She of course turns ten shades and just leaves the room followed by our laughter.

My favorite mom-ism however is probably her simplest funny. While sitting on the hearth in our living room with a fire roaring behind her, she stops mid-sentence to ask "Is something burning?"

Don't get me wrong, my mom is not stupid....quite the opposite actually, but you know how intelligent people sometimes miss the forest for the trees? Well, let just say my mother is oblivious of MOST forests.

This past weekend, she was in Austin visiting. We were sitting at a stop light at William Cannon and 35 when a homeless man walks in front of the car to cross the street. My mother leaned forward to get a better look at him and said, "I think I used to date him."

"Wait, what?"

"Ok well maybe not him exactly, but he looks just like him."

Seriously people, what the hell am I supposed to do with that? My mother used to date a guy that evidently looks exactly like the emaciated homeless man that I give a granola bar to every morning. And, she is oblivious to the fact that this causes me a moments pause!

All I can say is....trees...no forest.

Toe Pick!

Grace is NOT my middle name....

Today I weed whacked my finger....I don't know how....Ok...I do know how...but it's too embarrassing to rehash...I will just say this...If you think the string has broken off the weed whacker, let it completely stop spinning before you reach down there to check. It IS possible that there is still a small piece on there that is not long enough to actually whack weeds, but is the perfect size to take dang near all the skin off your knuckle....just maybe.

Those of you that know me well, know that this is VERY normal for me. I am probably the only person you know that has sprained both ankles on separate occasions, but in the same night. (I also broke a nose that night...not mine...and it wasn't an accident....but still!) Or who has not only slammed their own fingers in a door, but two other people's as well.

My first real job in high school was a summer job at a nursing home (oh the stories I have from that summer). I hadn't even been there a week before I was nicknamed "Lurch" (you know....like from the Addams Family...You Rang!). I didn't get this name from dropping trays, tripping, or any other normal klutzy stuff...I mean I DID do all that, that's just not how I got the name. Oh no....I am a gold medal winning klutz....

I ALMOST KILLED A LADY! No, I am not exaggerating. The depths of my klutziness knows no bounds...I guess I should preface this by telling you what my duties were. I was an environmental aide. Basically this means I changed the "soiled" linens. (P.S. Soiled means pooped or peed on...usually both.) I did get to call bingo and stuff from time to time, but pretty much, I changed beds.

Anyway, one day I was in this lady's room changing her bed. She was sitting in her recliner while I was doing my stuff. She was a really nice lady and we would talk while I worked. She was also hooked up to an oxygen machine. She could not be without it. So that day, we were talking and I had crawled under the bed because the bed pad had not caught all of the....well....soil. I finished cleaning up, crawled back out and continued on with whatever story I was telling her at the time. On my way back out from under the bed, I snagged my foot, but one good yank took care of it.

"Anyway Mrs. Stewart, so I told her that she was crazy and there was no reason to be that dramatic about something so trivial."

Weird sucking noise coming from behind me.

"Wow Mrs. Stewart, you sound like you need another steroid treatment. That is sounding bad. But anyways, she of course got MAD and told me to mind my own business. But, well I can't do that."

More frequent weird sucking noises.

At this point I decided to stop talking for a minute (rare enough in and of itself) and turn around.

The poor woman was turning BLUE.

HOLY CRAP....my shoe! I had unplugged her machine with my shoe! By the time my clumsy ass found the cord and got her plugged back in, she was in bad shape. It took her a while to be able to talk, and of course the whole time I sound like a broken record.

"Oh my gosh...I'm so sorry! Oh wow, I am SO sorry! Are you ok? I am so sorry!"

When she is finally able to talk, all that saint of a woman says, "It's ok honey, it happens all the time."

Bless her little heart! Sweet thing just lied through her false teeth.

The next day I was Lurch and really, I still haven't lost the nick name....

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I babysit one family here in Austin quite regularly. (Tomorrow we're going swimming....I don't know who is more excited, them or me!)

Last night it was their parent's date night so I was there to watch the kids. Kelsy is eight. Tyler just turned 7 last week, and Katherine is two. They are the most well behaved kids I have ever kept. Don't get me wrong, they are still kids, so we are acquainted with the time-out corner, but they are REALLY great kids.

Last night Katherine decided to bite Kelsy (this is a new thing...I have no idea where it came from), so I sent her to time-out. She walked over and sat down and immediately asked if she was done.

"No, ma'am. You bit your sister. You are going to stay there for two minutes (one minute for however old the kid is)."

"But, I sowwy NOW."

"I know you are, and when we are done here, you are going to go tell Kelsy that, but right now you are going to sit here and think about why you shouldn't bite your sister."

"Cuz when I bite, I gotta go time-out!"

How do you argue with that logic? Katherine constantly cracks me up and it is hard not to laugh at times like that, but last night it was Kelsy that really got to me.

Kelsy is an awesome big sister. She and Tyler butt heads some, but she is amazing with Katherine. She can be very grown up for her age sometimes. She is always asking me about college and why I want to be a doctor and stuff like that.

Last night while they were getting ready for bed, the questions started up again.

"Amy, why aren't you married?"

Well crap! "Because I am still in school and I am not ready to married right now."

"When do you want to be married?"

"I don't know Kels, maybe in a few years. But I haven't met anyone I want to marry. I have meet them and date them for a while first."

"Are you going to be a doctor or get married first?"

"I don't know...probably be a doctor."

"When you are a doctor and married, will you still babysit us?"

"Kels, by the time I am a doctor and married you won't need a babysitter anymore."

"Yes we will....we will if it's you."

Ok crying time now!

"Thanks Kelsy, that's sweet!"

"Amy, are you going to be a kid's doctor?"

"I don't know, we'll see."

"You should. You're really good with kids."

Can you see why I ADORE these kids? "Thanks sweetie. It's bed time now."

"I know. Goodnight Amy."

"Goodnight beautiful. Sweet dreams!"

I should really take her everywhere with me! She is such an ego boost! I only hope I have kids have that awesome one day!

You may call me My Pearl on Sundays and Goddess Divine on special occasions.

I adore anything Jane Austen as I have said many, many times....(ok, except Mansfield Park....but I still like it!)....I just finished reading Pride and Prejudice for the umpteenth gazillionth time....

Every time I read any of Austen's books I find something hilariously ironic that I missed the first time. Those are the best types of books....the ones that are refreshingly different, but yet comfortingly the same every time you read them.

This time I was reminded of a conversation I had with a very good friend of mine about what she wanted in a man....she had an insanely long list! I am talking LONG.....

At the time I told her that all I wanted was NOT the man on the white horse coming to my rescue. How dull would that be? Plus I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself! (Most of the time :)) I wanted the man on the black horse that had started all the trouble in the first place! But besides that I had no specifics...I wanted to leave more to providence than that....ok...I know...sounds good in theory right, but not realistic.

Of course I have an image in my head (but he's usually naked, so we don't talk much...kidding...kidding....kinda) but I really DON'T want to get all that specific.

Anyway, back to Austen. The wise teacher that she is, has taught me another valuable lesson....and that is....

Well, you will have to read it and figure it out yourself....

What?

Ok, Ok, Geez, I have to do everything around here!

I learned that I don't need to know what qualities I want in a man....I just need to be able to recognize them when seen packaged together in THE man.

Plus, lets face it girls, on the eve of Father's Day, this is probably true for you too, so I'll just be honest....no matter how hard I try to avoid it, I am daily growing to be more and more like my mother, and the man I see in my future has qualities more and more like my dad...

I should be so lucky! Happy Father's Day Daddy! I love you!

P.S. Dad: Insanely loud whistle

Amy: Hyah!

Everybody has words that are a staple to their everyday vocabulary.

Mine are "oops" and "seriously" (ok, and "like", but I am like totally trying stop that one...seriously!".

I think my dad repeats the Serenity Prayer when he is dealing with me.....

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change;

Yesterday:

"Ok, Dad, I got the a/c checked on my car...the guy said he doesn't know what's wrong with it! He said they added more freon and vacuumed out the system, but it's still not working. The compressor is cycling but no cold air!"

"What guy Amy?"

"The Jiffy Lube guy. He said for me to check the spark plugs, cuz that's all he can think of."

"The what?!?"

"The spark plugs."

"Amy....(he always says my name and then follows with a long pause when he is frustrated with me)....are you SURE he said spark plugs?"

"Yeah, and I checked the spark plug for the a/c but it is fine. I told him that didn't make sense because the compressor wouldn't start at all if it was the spark plug."

"Wait you checked the spark plug?"

"Yeah, Dad, what's wrong?"

"Amy.....(another long pause)....where were the spark plugs you checked?"

"Well, there are some in the car and some in the engine, in the box thingy...you know they are all different colors and say either 10, 20 or 40."

courage to change the things I can;

"Oh sweet *&##%#% (I'll let you fill in the blank here.), Amy, those are fuses, not spark plugs....whatever you do, don't go in the A/C place and tell them you checked the spark plugs. They will take you for everything you've got!"

"Oh, well, geez dad, you know what I meant!"

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Today:

"Dad, the A/C guy says I need a whole new compressor and kind of valve thingy."

"Amy, are you still at the repair shop?"

"Yes sir."

"Then just hand the nice man your phone honey."

10 minutes later the guy hands me back my phone:

"Ok, Amy they are going to take you home now and your car will be ready tomorrow. Can you find a ride to work in the morning?"

"Yes sir, what is wrong with my a/c."

....

"Dad?"

"It's the spark plugs."

"You are not funny!"

Chuckles come over the line.

Amen.

You're Killin' Me Smalls!

Ok...today was my REAL first day of classes....long story....don't ask.....

Last semester I had a professor for calculus that I really didn't get. I mean every word out of his mouth was Greek to me. He loved to pontificate on the mundane history behind every definition. However, we never actually learned how to USE them.

Ok, I am well aware that the break down in communication was probably my fault, but hey, I am giving myself the benefit of the doubt here!

Anyway, I found out that he wasn't teaching classes this summer, so what did I do, I signed up for calculus (I need three semesters of it for my degree).

Today I showed up to class a few minutes late (I know, I know, but hey, my friends were floating the freaking river, so at least I went to class). I found my room and reached out to grab the door knob....and froze.

NOOOO! It can't be him! The voice coming to me from the other side of the door was the same one that had taught me the history behind the fundamental theorem of calculus last semester! What is the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus you ask? Heck if I know, but I do know that you can thank the Scottish mathematician James Gregory for it!

Anyway, (well, first I double checked the door number just in case, but then...) I turned the knob and walked into the room.

He looked as shocked as I was! Stopping mid-sentence...."Hello Ms. Carter".

Summoning all of my inner Seinfeld, I replied....

"Hello Newman."

for-e-ver. for-e-ver. for-e-ver.

Some of my favorite memories of me and my dad are the days he would check me out of school early for us to drive to Houston to see a double header in the dome!

I loved those times! For my dad and I baseball has always been a bonding tool! He would buy me a program that had the game sheet in the back so I could "keep the book" for the game.

After the game he would check my work and we would laugh over the mistakes. I was probably the only eight year old girl that could tell you what E-3 meant (error on the first baseman) or the ERA of any pitcher on the Astros team at any given time.

As I got older and started playing ball myself, instead of sitting with my dad in the stands and enjoying the game at a "safe" distance, I met him on the field. The most frustrating times were when he was calling behind the plate and I was on the mound. I STILL maintain that the man has a strike zone the size of a Ritz cracker (you know the bite size ones), unless I am in the box and then the zone stretches from knees to shoulders.

Either way, my dad and I LOVE baseball and I can not think of a better time than spending the day on a diamond with my dad. Tomorrow I am meeting my dad to celebrate Father's Day and his birthday that is later this month. I am meeting him to watch the State Baseball Finals.

I can't sleep! I'm too excited!

Love you Dad! (and that was sooooo a strike!)

Lolita the Bunny

I work at a Law Firm doing odd jobs a few days a week. One of those jobs is to answer the phones.

Today, we got a call from one of the retired name partners. He is the cutest little old man. He is still in here a lot chatting with the attorneys and he is just a character.

When he called today, instead of asking for one of the partners, he asked me if I spoke spanish.

"Well, a little bit sir, why?"

"Well young lady, we have rabbits."

Ummmm...was that the answer? "Ok?"

"And all of our rabbits have spanish names."

Again, what does this have to do with me speaking spanish, did he need me translate for one of the rabbits?

"Ok sir, is there a problem with the rabbits?"

"Well, sugar (only a southern gentleman can get away with calling me sugar), we got a new female rabbit today and I wanted to name her Lolita."

Hiding my chuckle, "Ok sir, that sounds like a good name."

"But sweetie, I was wonderin', is that spanish?"

Well crap! I don't know....I know when you add "ita" to something in spanish it means little or it is a term of endearment...but is Lolita spanish?

"Well, sir, I'm not sure but it sure sounds like it doesn't it?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought honey. Do you think that is a good name for a rabbit?"

At this point, normally I would have just laughed in someone's face, but he sounded so serious and it was so cute!

"Sir, in my opinion, Lolita sounds a little like a lady of the evening if you catch my meaning, and since she is rabbit and they say "breed like rabbits" for a reason, I can't think of a better name for a rabbit."

Silence. Oh shit! I went too far!

Chuckle.Chuckle. "Well honey, I think that is damn near the best reason for naming a rabbit Lolita I have ever heard! Thanks!"

Oh thank GOD!!!! I thought my mouth had gotten me in trouble AGAIN!

"No problem sir, who did you need to talk to?"

"Nobody sweetie, that is what I called for. Thanks again!"

"Anytime sir, anytime!"

And THAT is how Lolita the bunny got her name!

How dare you call me carrots?

Chloe is my yellow lab...

SHE IS AWESOME!!!!!!

She pretty much has the coolest personality of any person (much less dog) ever....

Unfortunately, she does take after her mom in one way.....she talks....a lot....

When I come home every day, she meets me and proceeds to tell me about her day....which I think is adorable, and I highly encourage by saying things like, "Really?" "Uh uh, Chloe. No way that all happened in one day!" and stuff like that. She makes this weird sound that really does sound like she is talking...

This summer we have been spending an insane amount of time at Town Lake walking and running (much more walking than running, but it is a process)...

When we first get there she is extremely excited and she tells me....LOUDLY....unfortunately she is so used to my carrying on that conversation with her.....so, unless I reply, she just gets louder and more insistent until I say something.

So.......we are known at Town Lake as The Weird Girl Who Talks With Her Dog, and Chloe.

It's my Indian name! But hey, normal is boring right?

Right?

Hello?

Mr.Toad

OMG!!! I just had the most girlie moment ever!

I like to think that I don't usually squeal at gross things and I am not scared of or shy away from things that are traditionally squeal-girl-worthy.

Yes mother I know I won't go in the attic, but that is a scary stairs thing not a dark and dank thing....

And yes, Dad, I know I won't go out in the shop by myself at night, but that is not a dark creepy crawly bug thing, that is a....ok that IS a creepy crawly bug thing, but I don't scare away when I can actually see them...it's the fear of the unknown in the dark.....

Anyway, tonight I embarrassed myself....

I went to let the dogs out the sliding glass door to the back yard. It has been raining like mad here for hours and it had slowed to a mere monsoon so I thought I would let the girls out now so they wouldn't get quite as wet.

I opened the door, let them run out to do their business and stood in the doorway to wait like a good dog mommy. That's when it happened...

A BIG ASS TOAD JUMPED IN MY HOUSE AND LANDED A MILLIMETER FROM MY FOOT!!!!!

I SQUEALED!!!! I couldn't help it! Then I screamed for Lindsay (coolest roomie ever) to come help me....

It all happened so fast! I tried to suck the squeal and the words back in, but no such luck. It was already out there....It's official, today I am a five year old girl!

I know you are all trembling with trepidation, but no worries, we used the dog bowls to corral the beast and usher it back outside.

PHHHWEW!!!

Look Guys! Water!!!

My family and I spend as much time as possible on the water! WE LOVE IT!

I got a call from my mom today and we talked about a number of random things (we do this multiple times daily) and she stopped mid-sentence to say "OH! I gotta go. I got a fish!".

And the line went dead. (I didn't even know they were fishing, but it's not that big of a surprise.)

I can pretty much tell you verbatim how the following conversation went on my dad's boat.....

"Randy! Look! I got one! Isn't he big!" Giggle giggle.

"Huge Ginger, absolutely huge. I don't know if it will fit in the boat." This would be said with the most deadpan of voices and facial expressions. I should also point out that my dad has a 24 foot tritoon boat that seats 15 comfortably.

"Well come get it already! It's wiggly." She says while swinging the pole (with the poor fish attached at one end) from one side of the boat to another.

"Keep it still, and I could get it off the line! Jeez woman!"

"Oh! Sorry!" Giggle Giggle.

My dad would reach out at this point grab the fish, take his handy pliers and remove the hook. Depending on the actual size of the fish, he would either throw it back in the lake or toss it at Cadence (my parents freakily human-like black lab).

If the fish went back in the water, he would re-bait my mom's hook, cast for her, slap her on the butt (you should know that that part was incredibly uncomfortable to type), and hand her the pole. (They would do this all over again at least three or four times per fishing trip). If it got tossed at Cadence they would laugh at the annoyed face she made at them for being brought out of whatever dream she was having, and then he would go get this fish, put it the live well before the whole re-baiting ritual.

You should know that fishing only happens between whatever random catastrophe that we run into....today it was my mom "catching" a boat passing them with a family of five. When whatever catastrophe is resolved, it is time for a break, so they will stop for a while, put Cadence's life jacket on her and go swimming! After all of this....it is time to fish!

Catch one for me Mom!

Code Word: Zorro

I miss Mindy!

For those of you that don't know (and I don't know how that would be) Mindy is my best friend and has been since 2nd grade....ok well we did have that one trial time in high school when she sent her Guido after me....

Mindy, I apologize again for the whale comment...Kelli made me do it!

Anyway, Mindy flew away to Africa....she has been there for about an hour now and that makes me sad.

Ok, so yeah she will be back in two weeks, but our new found level of codependency is probably not healthy. (See Mindy I even used psych talk just for you.) So I was reminiscing about her today and realized something. We are weird.

We are not sisters (although our high school Spanish teacher told us we had been in another life) but we talk like sisters. You know how some sextuplets won't talk until they are much older in life because they develop a way of communication between each other that is irrelevant to the outside world?

It's not that she and I don't talk (even though we usually finish each other's sentences or the other one just nods halfway through the sentence an nod that says, "no need to finish, I read you loud clear" and the first one stops mid-sentence....which annoys the hell out of anyone else with us because our conversations are impossible to keep up with. Mind you, we don't do this to keep others out of the conversation, we just talk often enough that this just expedites things!). Mindy and I talk, but we also have codes...

The codes ARE to keep our conversations private....for example....every guy that either of us have had a crush (mild or major) has a two or three letter code...usually this has NOTHING to do with their actual name....

I do not feel at liberty at this time to give you an actual example....cuz what if I needed to use the code later and you guys knew it? Oh the horror!

Anyway, Mindy, I miss you and I love you, and I wanted you to know that LL is still MIA, and I still vote for DD over DJ, but I did have a dream about DPP and Paulo (ok so that one is just another name and not a code...but you get the drift!)....weird huh?

Be safe! Amy Sue

Shhhh....secrets

I am enthralled with the "new" quest for the meaning of life.

Everywhere you turn, someone is telling you they have the answer, and for just three easy installments of 24.99 you can know that secret too! I am NOT talking about religion. I am talking about that search for happiness and ultimate success.

Most of them (in my opinion) are a bunch of crap, but there are a few I find interesting, if not believable.

Many of you, I am sure, have heard, read or seen on TV, something about THE SECRET. Even Oprah has gotten on board with this one! (So it must be true! ;) ) It is a compilation of ideas from great thinkers through out history. The conclusion that the compiler (I hesitate to say "author") comes to is that the common thread in the thinking of these great men is that they truly believed they would be successful before they ever were.

At this point I would like to point out that I do not necessarily mean successful in the modern American meaning of the word. I mean fulfilling your dreams. If your dream is to be a janitor and you become the best damn janitor you can be, THAT is successful.

So, basically, these guys were visualizing. If you are a golfer, you know the whole "be the ball....see the ball going into the whole...." mantra. Maybe what they were visualizing was more impressive than what the rest of us schlubs in 9-5 jobs are visualizing, but evidently they do it very well!

Whether or not this theory is true, I could care less. However, just for the sake of argument, say it is true. All you have to do to be everything you want to be is visualize it happening hard enough and long enough. Ok, I could do that. Here is my question, the one I would LOVE to know the "secret" answer to.

HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT TO VISUALIZE TO MAKE ME FOREVER HAPPY AND SUCCESSFUL?

Isn't that the real question? So many people think that wealth and success in their job equates success and happiness in their life. And while this might work for some people, we all know it doesn't work for everyone. There is a new feel-good movie every year that comes out and tells us that wealth does not equate happiness. Hell, Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie....prime examples....they are LOADED....but no one that skinny or that drugged out is truly happy.

Oops!

Guess they visualized the wrong thing!

Anyway, I will stop rambling now....but here is my question to you...how did you decide?

How did you decide what path you should follow? What path would take you to extreme happiness?

I know I can't decide....this is too big of a question for my fallible mind to answer....I need someone or something to decide for me...to push me in the right direction....

Hmmmm.....maybe this was about religion after all.......