Clue! ummmm...in the gym with the pool buoy!

Top 10 Clues I am becoming a gym rat:



10) We have no carpet and pets...so our house needs dusting....A LOT. But, usually NOT the showers.....however, when you use the one at the gym everyday...well, ewwwww.

9) I bought extra sets of cheap hair products and make-up to keep at the gym....but the cheap ones all ended up at home and there is about 100 dollars worth of hair gel in my gym locker.

8) I got invited to the Back To School Party at the house of the guy that swipes the membership cards at the door. His name is Tim.

7) The girl with the locker under me left a note on my locker telling me she likes my perfume. It's a good thing because it usually smells like it in there.....(is that too weird?)

6) My personal trainer gave me a birthday card.

5) I have owned my new purple speedo for not even two months, but it is already too big!

4) Everything I own smells faintly of chlorine.....I mean everything...even Chloe a little...hmmmm......

3) I used to recognize people on campus from classes I have taken. It was "Hey, there's the girl from Gov that always wears those orange Crocs." or "Oooooh, there's hot guy from calculus." (Ok, that one is made up....there are NO hot guys in calculus.) You get the point. Now it's "Hey, it's the guy who swims in the fast lane, but is sooooo not fast lane worthy." and "Oooooh, there's the girl who thinks that the second treadmill from the end is her own personal treadmill and Lord help you if you are on it when she gets there."

2) I caught myself mentally re-arranging my class schedule in respect to proximity to the gym.

and finally........

1) School has been out for two weeks and I STILL have been on campus everyday....and that's just sad!

Who knew?

I learned some things about myself this week from the weirdest places.

1) Although my favorite color is red, I am inexplicably drawn to pink. I thought I was NOT a girl who loved pink. It's such a girly color. However, I went through my clothes this week to get rid of some stuff for Goodwill. (The more I purge, the less I have to move.)

My room is usually a mess. I am really weird in that I am kinda anal in a weird way. Once I start a project, it has to be PERFECT. So, I usually avoid organizing. If I get started, it can't be a quick clean....oh no....it is a four hour job!

However, I thought "I'm moving, so I need to get my clothes and closet in order." BAD IDEA. I have three garbage bags of clothes for Goodwill, and still my closet is packed....and arranged by seasons.....and color coordinated.....with matching hangers....separated by coordinated accessories. AGGGGGGGGHHHHHH.....but it is soooo pretty now.

When I was done, I stepped back to view my handy work. And then it hit me....PINK!!!

Who knew?

2) I am scared of heights. I have known this for a while. Again....this is not your normal I'm-high-off-the-ground-so-I-am-scared fear. Oh no, that would be far too normal for me. If I am strapped into something I am fine. I LOVE roller coasters, airplanes, ski lifts....you get the picture. However, driving on a ledge, hiking on a ledge....pretty much anything where the only thing keeping from falling is well....me.....SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF ME!!!!!! Guys, I'm clumsy....we all know this....if I am what is keeping me from falling....well....the odds are NOT in my favor.

Anyway, this week I learned this fear also extends to deep water. Since the school is closed for the next two weeks between semesters, the outdoor lap pool that I have been using doesn't open until 9 am. I was forced to use the Natatorium (indoor lap pool). Guys....it's like 10 feet!

No need to get into the embarrassing antics that ensued, but just be sure, I won't be in there again...until tomorrow.....Helen is really into torture!

Who knew?

3) I had five of these but apparently my attention span is shorter than I thought...

Who knew?

I'm siiiiiiingin' in the Rain!

My friend Rico Suave (name changed for security sake....his...not mine) took me out last night.

We were going to go to a show, but when we got to the club at the designated time, there were like five whole people there.....so we left.

We ended up at Rain. (In case you are not from the area....rain is short for rainbow....)

I have been to Rain a few times before with some of my friends and I have always had a good time, but this time, it was KARAOKE NIGHT!!!!!

Those of you that know me, know that karaoke is one of my favorite things on the planet. I mean, I think the act of singing your heart out in front of your friends and perfect strangers is one of the most fun things...well....ever! But I had no idea what I had walked into!

Straight karaoke and gay karaoke are nothing alike. Straight karaoke involves mass amounts of alcohol and terribly bad renditions of rock classics with some Patsy Cline's Crazy thrown in.

Ok, yeah, I am usually the one belting out Crazy but come on....it's freakin' Patsy Cline!

Anyway, gay karaoke has to be seen to be believed. These guys, are GOOD! It is a whole night of the divas being sung by guys with higher and better voices than most of the divas themselves.

Of course I had a wild hair and had to sing me some Dixie Chicks....Goodbye Earl to be exact....

I had a freaking blast! And as Rico would say....the queens....they love me!

Bye Bye Birdie!

Guys....my cool reserve and abundance of grace knows no bounds.....

"Why?" you ask.

Well, I'll tell you......because it takes a whole new level of talent and dexterity to take a SUV, speed it up to 70 mph.....and ram it into a bird.

You heard me....a bird...I swear it was the freakiest thing. I am driving along talking to Chloe (yes that is my dog...shut up) and all of a sudden this gigantic bird...I think it was an albatross....swoops down and flies right into the grill of my car!

I was stunned....

The weirdest stuff happens to me. Anyway, so I was upset that I had killed a bird....and there was no doubt it was dead. The impact shook my whole car.

But, by the time I actually got home I was over it and had moved on mentally. I mean hey, mourning is OK for a while, but there comes a time to pick up and move on with your life.

So I did. I took Chloe inside for a while and then came back out to head to work. When I came back outside I walked to my car and froze. It was one of those I-know-something-is-wrong-but-I-don't-know-what moments.

Then, unfortunately, I figured it out. Sticking out the grill of my car like a hood ornament, was the head of the kamikaze bird! Now, the body was there too, but it was just jammed into my car, so it wasn't visible....

I just stood there and stared! Holy crap! How the heck am I supposed to get that out of my car? Without touching it?

And then it hit.....I'm not! My little brother Jared is! He was coming into town that afternoon to help me move my new couch (p.s. it's awesome), so he could do it then! I was very relieved and went to work.

Unfortunately, when I got off of work that Sunday evening, it was raining (not the best couch moving weather). So we put it off.....

Here's something you may not know about birds. When they die, they rot. When they rot, they stink. If you get one stuck in the grill of your car in August, MAKE SURE YOU PUT YOUR AIR CONDITIONING ON RECIRCULATE!!!!! Especially if your selfish brother refuses to drive up from San Marcos for the sole purpose of removing said bird.

So.....on Tuesday, (yeah that is three days later) I had to beg and plead and promise all sorts of things I won't repeat to get my most AWESOME guy friend ever, Sam, to remove the bird! It stunk and was gross and WAY out of the range of things I am willing to do.

When I got into my bird-free car that night, I was struck by a realization.

Guys are like gas stations....on every corner when you don't need one, but no where to be found when you do!