"OOPS? No, Ed. Oops is falling down an elevator shaft. Oops is skinny dipping in a school of pirrahna. This was no OOPS. This was AAGGHH!"

First let me explain my morning....wait...let's start last night...hell...let's get a good look at this week....

Monday was a holiday....I worked....then stayed up LATE working on my physics homework.

Tuesday was spent sitting crouched over that same physics HW...then class...then work...then at work till 12:30pm finishing that HW with one of my bosses (I LOVE YOU SCOTT :)).

Wednesday was class/HW from 8 am until 8 pm....then home to read up on lab work for today.

This morning (Thursday) I woke up @ 6 (yes dang it, that is early) because I have Geology lab @ 8 am...which really is a crime in itself...but I woke up, let Chloe outside, and went into the bathroom to shower, make-up, hair....etc. Let me just say...at this point I knew I was tired and this week was taking its toll, but I was wholly unaware that I was in a bad mood.

Sometime in the middle of this ritual, I hear my roommate come out of his room and walk to the bathroom. He stops when he sees me in there, and I just turned and said, "Sucks to be you huh?"

WHAT?! He hadn't done ANYTHING wrong except walk in on me and my bad mood! I mumbled my apologies to his dropped jaw and shut the door for his protection.

When I was ready to head out, I went downstairs and saw that my other roommate had cleaned the living room and dining room while I slept (THANKS B)...normally a real mood lifter...but evidently not.

I got to school, got my soy Chai latte and went to lab...at which point I walked in right as he was beginning lecture and spilled my latte all over the table.

(aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhh......normally that would be in caps, but I lack the energy...)

So I ran to the bathroom to get towels, cleaned it up and proceeded to test a bunch of rocks...

When it was over, I thought "Finally, a BREAK!" I had every intention of curling up in chair for half an hour (before starting my microbiology lab report) and reading something educationally worthless! Like a smut novel, or Harry Potter....

So on my way to my favorite cushy chair on campus, I stopped for another latte since I got 2 sips from the first one....and I saw this girl....

Let me first say that this girl was LARGE...I know large....she was MUCH larger than that... and she had one of those walking cast/boot things and one crutch (both of which I am also intimately acquainted)....all of these factors meant she was going SLOW....but come on, poor thing was probably in a worse mood than me!

So as I waited for her to pass so I could get to my cushy chair, these two guys in the frat boy uniform (polo shirt in some neon color, khaki shorts, and deck shoes) come up behind her and start loudly going "Damn! That girl is BIG."

And that's when it happened...I accidentally (on purpose) lost my second (HOT) latte of the day all down the front of their uniforms....

I really am not fit to be around people today....

"I didn't say he was handsome, I said he was handy." - Driving Miss Daisy

I am going to just ignore the MASS amount of time that I have gone without writing...because then I can deny it later!

So the Fall school semester started last week. I am taking 15 hours of -ology's and -isics's, and all tab time that entails. The first couple of days are always annoying. Why? Because the campus is overrun with Freshmen. If you completely ignore the fact that I hate them for their youth, they are still ripe with annoying behavior that cannot go ignored. For that purpose I have devised a list of three Do's and Don'ts for these barely-post pubescent vexations.

1) I understand that campus is big, sprawling, and rather confusing until you start to get to know your way around. You will never hear me tease the lot of you for carrying around your maps. HOWEVER, when you decide to stop and look at that map, DO NOT do it in the middle of the flipping sidewalk with no warning what-so-ever to those of us walking behind you! You will get run over!

2) Your mothers do not live here. They do not come behind you and clean up your messes, nor do they come before you and do the little things that keep your life running smoothly. Also, I am not your mother. I will NOT clean your plates up off the table at the Deli. I don't care what your dorm/apartment/off-campus house looks like, but on campus, we share space, so clean it up.No, I will not hold your place in line WHILE you shop for text books. You are going to have to wait in line holding all those big books just like the rest of us.

and finally....

3) Most of you (especially those of you living over in West Campus who drive brand new foreign cars) have never before used public transportation and are therefore confused about the bus system around campus. Again, I am fine with the necessary learning curve here. HOWEVER, should you ever be sitting on the bus in those seats up front that face each other (and this goes doubley...no, trippley for you "men") and an elderly person, or disabled person get on the bus, DO immediately get up off your selfish asses and give them a seat. (EX: Sitting on the bus Monday I saw a blind woman tap-tap-tap her way onto the bus. The bus driver had to get up and walk back to the group of map-toting young people occupying those seats and ask them if they minded giving the woman a seat. SERIOUSLY? I have never been more ashamed of anyone in my life!)

So okay, I know a lot of the freshmen on campus aren't all this obnoxious....but for those of you who are, while the official UT policy is NO HAZING, keep pissing off the upper-classmen and see where that gets you....I mean most of the people in the annual Undie Run do it voluntarily....but not all of them.....

"I've heard a rant like this before!" -- Dogma

Rant Day....(in no particular order)

10) Organic Chemistry is the HARDEST CLASS EVER....if you are an engineering major and you think that ALL of your classes are harder than this one...then you should have picked a different major....cuz it's just you!

9) Yes....I have read the Twilight Series and actually enjoyed it! BACK OFF!

8) No, I have not seen the Bond movies and have no immediate plans to correct this....

7) Truth is about perception....If I say you have an accent, it is because I perceive it to be true....If you say that I am the one with the accent, it is because you perceive that to be true....we are both right....can we please move on now?

6) High heels hurt. Yeah they look good, but I don't always feel like re-attaching my toes when I get home, so I don't usually wear them. If I do feel an occasion is special enough to wear heels, please do not make a big issue out of it, because odds are I will have kicked them off in about an hour anyway.

5) Yes, I am often considered "One of the Guys" in our little group, and I will shotgun a beer and belch right along with you, pound your fist when something funny is said, and laugh at fart jokes....but please remember that I am a girl....so if we are running late because I can't decide if these shoes match that purse....adjust! (And maybe this would go faster, if you would be "One of the Girls" from time to time and tell me which ones match!)

4) Chipping a nail IS a big deal...

3) I have a black thumb...plants left in my care WILL die...I have accepted this....so should you...

2) I will leave the clock on my nightstand there...yes, it has been blinking for over six months now, but I am sure I will set it eventually....leave it alone!

And the most important....

1) Irish car bombs do NOT taste like chocolate milk....what the hell kind of milk was your momma feeding you? Men the world wide try to pass this lie off on unsuspecting women...this lie is second only to "Just the tip...."!

"Merciful death, how you love your precious guilt." - Interview With the Vampire

So I am not the nicest person....I mean Mother Theresa and I both have brown hair....and that's where comparisons end.

vs.

However, I do strive to not kick puppies and horrible things like that.....

Basically I am NO saint....but I try not to be a bitch any more than absolutely possible...

However, on Monday night I failed miserably :(

I know I can make fun of things that aught not be made fun of....

But I would NEVER knowingly hurt some one's feelings by picking on their disability in front of them.....the key word here is KNOWINGLY...

Anyway....back to Monday night....the night I found myself in my very own Seinfeld episode...

I went bowling with a few friends of mine like I do every Monday night after work. If you don't bowl, you should know that bowling is a happy-go-lucky-fun-for-all game, but there are a few general rules of courtesy. You know....kinda like "don't talk in some one's back swing" in golf.

In bowling, you don't use someone else's ball, and you when someone in the lane next to you is about to bowl, you stay back until they are done before you approach. You do NOT begin to bowl while they are bowling.

So, on Monday we were barely into our first game when I got up to bowl. I was standing at the line, ball in hand, when in the next lane a girl walked all the way to the foul line, and started to measure off steps.

Three to the right.....four back....and then she turned, just tossed the ball down the lane and walked back to her seat.

The first time, I thought "Oh, she wasn't paying attention and didn't see me."

By the fourth time in as many turns, I was MUCH less charitable. Again, she walked up right as I was about to start my bowl and went through her little ritual. I, in turn, heaved a big sigh, rolled my eyes, dropped my ball back on the carousel, crossed my arms and glared at her.

I looked over at her friends, who were watching me, and said, "Seriously?" (Yeah I watch too much Grey's Anatomy)

So about this time, she was done, so I went picked up my ball and bowled....this is the point when I knew something was amiss...

You see, the guys I was bowling with are only serious about once a year....and it wasn't time yet. But when I turned around, they were all stone faced....and looking at the ritual girl....

I turned to see what had them all so enthralled...BIG MISTAKE....

There she was, slowly walking toward the bathroom....with her cane out in front, making little tap tap taps as she went.....HOLY CRAP...she is blind!

I felt like the biggest shit! I had just thrown a fit over a blind girl! I quickly sat back down and put my face in my hands. When I had the guts to look up, it was into the faces of my friends who were obviously trying to hide their own mirth at my situation.

I don't know if she was even aware of my rudeness, but her friends definitely were. I spent the next hour avoiding their eyes. Unfortunately, the next hour was spent forgetting...not that she was blind, but more forgetting to be aware that there was a blind person around.

So, later when I was trying to call my friend Charlie's attention to something, and he was so blatantly missing it, I signed in Sign Language (yeah I can do that) the word I was trying to say and yelled, "What? Are you blind or just deaf?"

AGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! SERIOUSLY???

I am not usually that big of a dolt....but sure enough I turned around hoping that no one in the lane next the me had heard my second faux pas of the night....

No such luck....I blustered apologies, turned seven shades of red, and will always be remembered by that group of people as The Biggest Bitch On The Planet....a title which I unfortunately earned....

"Peasants have no politics. We keep cows." - The Mortal Storm

That is it!!!!!!!! I have had it!!!!!!!

I NEVER start a political dialogue. I abhor them (that means I hate them)! But the comments some people are making have forced me to weigh in on this subject.....

Here is the thing with politics in general. We aren't voting for Good vs. Evil. We are voting for PEOPLE. People are never either all wrong or all right. So, depending on the priorities in your life at that specific time, different candidates are going to appeal to you.

This country was founded on the belief that no one person (or monarch) can always be the deciding voice of the people. For that reasons a system of checks and balances has been inserted into the very framework by which this nation is run. But, we do elect someone every four years to sit at the head of that system.

In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you who I voted for. John McCain. If I had my druthers, John McCain would be my president now. You don't have to agree with me and THAT IS THE POINT! We all had a chance to give our opinions in the months leading up to the election and finally by casting your ballot on election day.

If the man you voted for is now awaiting his arrival to the oval office, congratulations...your voice was heard. If not, this is when the work actually starts. The hard part is not to celebrate with the winner you voted for....the hard part is to support YOUR president even if you didn't vote for him. Like it or not Barack Obama is now the Commander and Chief. I doubted his ability to follow through on his promises...but I HOPE that he IS the man that brings the CHANGE and unity this country so badly needs.

So, the time has come for all of us Republicans out there to try something the Democrats have spent the last four years proving they could NEVER do.....support your elected leader!