"I didn't say he was handsome, I said he was handy." - Driving Miss Daisy

I am going to just ignore the MASS amount of time that I have gone without writing...because then I can deny it later!

So the Fall school semester started last week. I am taking 15 hours of -ology's and -isics's, and all tab time that entails. The first couple of days are always annoying. Why? Because the campus is overrun with Freshmen. If you completely ignore the fact that I hate them for their youth, they are still ripe with annoying behavior that cannot go ignored. For that purpose I have devised a list of three Do's and Don'ts for these barely-post pubescent vexations.

1) I understand that campus is big, sprawling, and rather confusing until you start to get to know your way around. You will never hear me tease the lot of you for carrying around your maps. HOWEVER, when you decide to stop and look at that map, DO NOT do it in the middle of the flipping sidewalk with no warning what-so-ever to those of us walking behind you! You will get run over!

2) Your mothers do not live here. They do not come behind you and clean up your messes, nor do they come before you and do the little things that keep your life running smoothly. Also, I am not your mother. I will NOT clean your plates up off the table at the Deli. I don't care what your dorm/apartment/off-campus house looks like, but on campus, we share space, so clean it up.No, I will not hold your place in line WHILE you shop for text books. You are going to have to wait in line holding all those big books just like the rest of us.

and finally....

3) Most of you (especially those of you living over in West Campus who drive brand new foreign cars) have never before used public transportation and are therefore confused about the bus system around campus. Again, I am fine with the necessary learning curve here. HOWEVER, should you ever be sitting on the bus in those seats up front that face each other (and this goes doubley...no, trippley for you "men") and an elderly person, or disabled person get on the bus, DO immediately get up off your selfish asses and give them a seat. (EX: Sitting on the bus Monday I saw a blind woman tap-tap-tap her way onto the bus. The bus driver had to get up and walk back to the group of map-toting young people occupying those seats and ask them if they minded giving the woman a seat. SERIOUSLY? I have never been more ashamed of anyone in my life!)

So okay, I know a lot of the freshmen on campus aren't all this obnoxious....but for those of you who are, while the official UT policy is NO HAZING, keep pissing off the upper-classmen and see where that gets you....I mean most of the people in the annual Undie Run do it voluntarily....but not all of them.....