"1) Ahh...She's Bussiness Class. 2) What's Bussiness Class? 1) You know, big butt, can't fly coach." - Swingers

One of the worst things that has ever happened to me is probably getting to fly First Class….

Working for the airlines did have its perks…and that was one of them. Employee passes are generally upgraded to first class when seats are available.

I used to LOVE flying. The excitement of getting to go new places and the feeling of superiority that came from getting to tell my friends I was flying anywhere greatly outweighed any discomfort the actual flight might bring. Of course that was before 9/11 so it was easier all around anyway….

Then I started working for the airlines….and I couldn’t believe my good fortune….the world was literally at my fingertips….ah to hop on a plane at will and arrive rested and comfortable from the pampering of free cocktails and heated hand towels….

Now, I find myself back with the little people…..usually that statement is only literal when flying in or out of Las Vegas….the opposite is generally true in coach….

I just sat on a flight from Austin to Phoenix with a screaming child in front of me, to my right, and behind me. Of course not only was the child behind me screaming, he was also trying to bend it like Beckham with the back of my seat.

But that wasn’t even the bad part. The bad part was that the children behind me were French. I know you are a little confused right now….

“What can that possibly mean?” you ask….

Well, if the children are French then it stands to reason that the parents are French…and there is a reason that France is known for its perfume….that reason is that the French are NOT known for their hygiene. They generally find it easier to douse themselves in perfume than bathe or wear deodorant.

I sat for two hours in cloud of BAD French perfume mixed heavily with BO, while being attacked by some future soccer superstar and in the midst of symphonic screaming in surround.

…..and that is just the first leg of my trip…..wish me luck!